April Foolishness

This past week I’ve been on work experience at an advertising firm in London. And I’ve been doing a really good job! I got off to a sniffly start on account of getting a cold at the worst possible moment and felt very Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada only with less Valentino and more Please validate my existence and also please don’t catch this cold.

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Meeting new people and being in an environment where you’re allowed to be creative has made my whole outlook change. In the last few months there’s been a lot of self doubt, wondering whether I see myself as this arty type when really I’m just avoiding “real work”, or if people saying I’m too creative is code for “you’re an absolute sh*tshow, please get off our property immediately”. Not feeling like a sh*tshow is really nice and without wanting to blow my own horn, I’m pretty sure I’m getting the hang of smart/casual… *Toot*. And best of all there’s not a spreadsheet in sight. Yay!

In more general news I have taken up yoga and I don’t want to be that person who says ‘I’m really very zen right now because I’ve been doing yoga so basically I am able to live in my body in a way that’s like, really cozy?’ BUT there is something grounding about doing yoga or doing anything that allows you to do something nice for yourself, whether it’s having a nice bath or changing your bed sheets or eating a salad with some mysterious grains in it. On the whole spring has done me the world of good and I’ve been taking better care of myself. I had a lot of heartache to contend with over the winter months and I had to make some uncomfortable acknowledgments about my behaviour. I have always been fortunate enough to have friends that buoy me in the worst of times, and now that I am less of a liability I’m able to reciprocate their support a bit more. Honestly, I can’t remember feeling happier than I have over the past few weeks and the fact that it’s taken me so long makes it even nicer. You’ve got to feel cold to feel warm, or something. The only problem is that my mentality often makes me feel like I’m invincible when I start to feel alright again, and I start to think I can run before I can walk. I don’t really know how to solve that problem but basically I think it comes down to learning from experience and talking to people when it feels like things are getting out of control.

The single life continues to treat me well. I haven’t exactly dived head-first into the dating thing and my phone remains happily devoid of dating apps, but I have had the odd moment and none of my…… interests?victims?concubines? have set themselves on fire yet so I guess you could say it’s going pretty well. The most important thing though is that I’m actually still enjoying being on my own and anyway, I’ve got two dogs sleeping in my bed these days so I’m not exactly short on company. charles-barsotti-your-love-gives-me-strength-new-yorker-cartoon_a-g-14259462-8419447

It’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that relationships are most beneficial when they allow you to better enjoy the world outside of yourself, rather than becoming a sink-hole where introspection and mutual self-analysis reign supreme. It’s pretty contradictory to say that on a blog but whatever, I’ve had a glass of wine.

 

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