I’m going to try not to swear in this post

I had planned to write something earlier, but the piles of gifts and flowers were too much and I was trapped in my room without a laptop charger. Having successfully shooed the countless suitors from my door and filed several restraining orders I have finally settled down to share my thoughts on this special day.

Let’s be honest, it’s not the best day to be single. ‘Galentines Day’ is a nice idea but as someone shrewdly pointed out, it’s the day before Valentines so as not to disturb anyone’s plans with their significant other, which makes it kind of annoying in spite of its good intentions. With that in mind, I would like to point out that the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had was in 2013, when I joined a group of girls at university and had an anti V-day party and got mashed off of own-brand rosé. It was well timed because I had just had my most interesting/expensive breakup: flying off to see my boyfriend in Austria who was on a ski season, and getting brutally dumped at 2km above sea level two days into my week-long trip. Needless to say, the duty-free section at Innsbruck airport made an absolute killing the following weekend. I’m not exactly lucky in love, but it usually makes for good stories.

My most recent on/off relationship managed to strategically avoid the winter months in general which is a blessing since I don’t have any old cards to snot over later this evening. I have to keep reminding myself today is another milestone I’ve navigated (mostly) unscathed in the last year, and especially in the last few months. A lot of it hasn’t been pretty, but that’s the way loss works; it’s hard to find dignity when it feels like everything is at stake. This is all well and good, of course, but it’s still helpful to listen to Martha Wainwrights Bloody Mother F***ing A***hole as loud as possible while eating one of the many heart-shaped cheesecakes that have accumulated because my mum’s bought Waitrose Valentine’s Special Dine in for 2 meals every day this week for me and my dad. I’m very lucky because I have three furry friends to keep me company, and my best human friend called to remind me that she’d rather I was alone than with an arsehole. Words to live by if ever I heard them.

I don’t really like Valentine’s because of capitalism and weird warped Western ideas of romantic love, but I do like love, so here’s my favourite love poem, by Frank O’Hara:

       Have you forgotten what we were like then
       when we were still first rate
       and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth
      
       it's no use worrying about Time
       but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves
       and turned some sharp corners
      
       the whole pasture looked like our meal
       we didn't need speedometers
       we could manage cocktails out of ice and water
      
       I wouldn't want to be faster
       or greener than now if you were with me O you
       were the best of all my days

[Fuck]

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